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On Elevating The Profession

April 14, 2005 by discocisco

The hour-long morning commute creates a spiritual clearing in which I run through mental fields, naked and without a care. You’d be amazed at how easy honoring your sacred space can be when you have nothing else to do. Today, I contemplated the nature of my work. Directing marketing, I have come to believe, is about as fulfilling as riding a pony or sitting on an airhose. In other words, you adjust the inputs of pleasure and pain with either calculated manipulation or with wild abandon. The choice is all yours.

It also occurred to me this morning that I am doing precious little to promote excellence among cosmetic executives. This thought was followed a five-minute exploration of how I am a horrible son, but for some reason the former topic has left me more acutely distressed. Priorities.

Women of color 18 and older represent nearly 30 percent of the total U.S. female population, with an estimated buying power of $723 billion. It is interesting to note that although they only comprise about 15% of the total U.S. population, these women are responsible for shouldering about 83% of all the big hair in the country. That’s a lot of unrecognized, untapped hair.

Which leads me to how I’m going to elevate the profession… I am hereby establishing an award to recognize excellence in color-treated, over-processed, aqua-net-in-one-hand-blow-dryer-in-the-other Latina hair. Norma, the woman who makes my lunchtime sandwiches at the gas station on the corner is favored to win, but if you know someone who you think should be showcased, send me their picture and a couple of words about why they should win the Orange Peacock award.

Naming products isn’t easy. So if you’re not good at it, don’t do it. I was walking through my local gayzone last night and stumbled upon a sandwich board sidewalk sign advertising Muscle Milk, a nutritional supplement. Holy dick-with-a-spigit, I thought. That’s the last thing I would name a product. Don’t get me wrong. I want to be big and strong like daddy too, and wouldn’t mind the help of rich-tasting low-calorie anorexitools, but I can’t go up to a counter and ask for Muscle Milk. It’s just not in me. Yet, I guess.

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